Porteno

Ive never had a meal like the food at Porteno. It was epic a culinary apocalypse after which I can never look at my normal diet of toasted sandwiches and microwaved pies again without scorn and sadness. Every dish was beautifully presented, and the flavor sensations I was exposed to have left me in possession of an expanded waistline and a new appreciation for the magic of imaginative cooking. I can only assume the chef is some kind of Hogwarts-trained octopus, constantly whipping tentacles across the kitchen while singing opera and twirling a devilish mustache. I highly recommend the 8 hour slow-cooked lamb, and heading upstairs for cocktail or two.